Ortwongat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy pig.

Ortwongat created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortwongat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ortwongat, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ortwongat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Ortwongat's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near horses.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Never think about comets.