Watdunved Hapsugfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, selfish parrot.

Watdunved Hapsugfeb created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Watdunved Hapsugfeb, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Watdunved Hapsugfeb, it will turn you into a slug.

Watdunved Hapsugfeb's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Watdunved Hapsugfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Watdunved Hapsugfeb loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Retreat if four seals approach from the north.

5. Fast once a month.