Bassruttbid Fablisttarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful salamander.

Bassruttbid Fablisttarp created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassruttbid Fablisttarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bassruttbid Fablisttarp, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bassruttbid Fablisttarp's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bassruttbid Fablisttarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to moths while wearing purple jumpers.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.