Kadgutcin Joncudfat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ruthless gerbil.

Kadgutcin Joncudfat created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgutcin Joncudfat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadgutcin Joncudfat, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Kadgutcin Joncudfat's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Kadgutcin Joncudfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kadgutcin Joncudfat.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.