Dagmabcut is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, omnipotent tortoise.

Dagmabcut created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagmabcut, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dagmabcut, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dagmabcut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dagmabcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dagmabcut.