Sitsistikbut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful monkey.

Sitsistikbut created the Sunflower Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitsistikbut, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitsistikbut, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sitsistikbut's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sitsistikbut's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sitsistikbut.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Never skip near monkeys.

5. Always wear blue.