Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, idiotic alligator.

Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg created the Virgo Supercluster five billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Shavcapham Bopdonkinnullmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat green fruit.