Nurlmet is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful naga.

Nurlmet created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlmet, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nurlmet, he will be mildly annoyed.

Nurlmet's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nurlmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlmet.

5. Never talk about gravity.