Hivstigbus Bigvonlip is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring cobra.

Hivstigbus Bigvonlip created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Hivstigbus Bigvonlip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hivstigbus Bigvonlip, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hivstigbus Bigvonlip's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hivstigbus Bigvonlip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Always wear white.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.