Yokmatmit is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair ant.

Yokmatmit created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokmatmit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yokmatmit, she will cry a lot.

Yokmatmit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yokmatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Never paint your face magenta.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Yokmatmit loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not stand on grass.