Zagmonzig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonest cat.

Zagmonzig created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Zagmonzig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zagmonzig, he will curse you with boils.

Zagmonzig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zagmonzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away from yellow eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Zagmonzig loves ants, so they must be honoured.