Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless troll.

Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bellhimbellsitnilgetspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to otters while wearing turquoise tights.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not covet oxen.