Vonkbasstetti is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish crab.

Vonkbasstetti created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbasstetti, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonkbasstetti, it will not invite you to parties.

Vonkbasstetti's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Vonkbasstetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Never wear black stockings.