Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered duck.

Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap, she will turn you into a mole.

Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Cadwapyartwikcissyart Saggamwap loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look at stars.