Stafnuttfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid gnu.

Stafnuttfoss created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Stafnuttfoss, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stafnuttfoss, he will turn you into a goat.

Stafnuttfoss' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Stafnuttfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect four lead sculptures of Stafnuttfoss on top of important buildings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. You must love Stafnuttfoss.