Toftanflap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonourable ferret.

Toftanflap created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toftanflap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Toftanflap, he will not care at all.

Toftanflap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Toftanflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never mention cats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.