Milpangkop is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciful slug.

Milpangkop created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milpangkop, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Milpangkop, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Milpangkop's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Milpangkop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Milpangkop.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the west.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.