Jendondan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic dog.

Jendondan created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jendondan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jendondan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jendondan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Jendondan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.