Butyatdog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, almighty crocodile.

Butyatdog created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Butyatdog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Butyatdog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Butyatdog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Butyatdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Butyatdog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear violet ear rings.

5. Never wear shorts.