Somvanlig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, quiet skunk.

Somvanlig created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somvanlig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Somvanlig, she will refuse to believe in you.

Somvanlig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Somvanlig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.