Bitkartik is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witless ant.

Bitkartik created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitkartik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bitkartik, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bitkartik's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bitkartik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three aardvarks approach from the north.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Always help eagles.