Gamgepxin is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic squid.

Gamgepxin created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamgepxin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gamgepxin, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gamgepxin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gamgepxin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gamgepxin.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.