Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, kind faun.

Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum, he will turn you into a mole.

Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum on top of all buildings.

2. Hitpintetticunbigyikhugcum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Always wear brown.