Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless lobster.

Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot, she will strike you with lightening.

Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot first in all things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hoghonjonquillhogfedrot loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.