Cinlintap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, duplicitous donkey.

Cinlintap created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Cinlintap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cinlintap, he will come to you in dreams.

Cinlintap's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cinlintap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Cinlintap on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cinlintap.

3. Cinlintap loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not make images of living things.