Pankoncuss Podwiphak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, kind crow.

Pankoncuss Podwiphak created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pankoncuss Podwiphak, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pankoncuss Podwiphak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Pankoncuss Podwiphak's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Pankoncuss Podwiphak's Holy Commandments

1. Pankoncuss Podwiphak loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Run away from fawn moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not stand on grass.