Betgenvenfig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy armadillo.

Betgenvenfig created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Betgenvenfig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Betgenvenfig, she will not care at all.

Betgenvenfig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Betgenvenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. You must pray to Betgenvenfig four times a day.