Vogpibnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring crocodile.

Vogpibnarl created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vogpibnarl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vogpibnarl, she will turn you into a mole.

Vogpibnarl's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vogpibnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Vogpibnarl loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Feed all hungry swans.