Jattipdad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking snake.

Jattipdad created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jattipdad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jattipdad, she will send you a sign.

Jattipdad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jattipdad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jattipdad on top of all buildings.

2. You must pray to Jattipdad four times a day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.