Bemflapdunken is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, impressive shark.

Bemflapdunken created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemflapdunken, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bemflapdunken, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bemflapdunken's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bemflapdunken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never wear white jumpers.