Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing porpoise.

Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ligdabboss Wabcipyam Saktarquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never sit near monkeys.