Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing ant.

Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bassquillflab Tettimittafnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never play with disobedient children.