Vilbessjig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, resourceful aardvark.

Vilbessjig created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbessjig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vilbessjig, it will turn you into a frog.

Vilbessjig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vilbessjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vilbessjig.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Never play with disobedient children.