Baggudciss is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish gerbil.

Baggudciss created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baggudciss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Baggudciss, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Baggudciss' most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Baggudciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head indigo.

2. You must love Baggudciss.

3. Never feed lemons to cats while wearing yellow skirts.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Respect your elders.