Gompadkin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome tortoise.

Gompadkin created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Gompadkin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gompadkin, she will cry a lot.

Gompadkin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gompadkin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gompadkin four times a day.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.