Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic armadillo.

Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut, he will come to you in dreams.

Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tiptifjadmot Davbemdidnadxembut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.