Sabmilgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy parrot.

Sabmilgeb created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Sabmilgeb, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sabmilgeb, he will turn you into a tree.

Sabmilgeb's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Sabmilgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured bats.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed figs to monkeys while wearing red boots.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.