Ligbasttettimum is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, temperamental cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ligbasttettimum created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligbasttettimum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ligbasttettimum, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ligbasttettimum's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ligbasttettimum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always treat dolphins with great respect.