Ponstipril is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing lobster.

Ponstipril created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponstipril, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ponstipril, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Ponstipril's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ponstipril's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.