Quartcubnar is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, kind newt.

Quartcubnar created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartcubnar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quartcubnar, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Quartcubnar's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quartcubnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. You must pray to Quartcubnar four times a day.

4. Never paint your chest green.

5. Put Quartcubnar first in all things.