Tagyetzamfom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, thoughtless lobster.

Tagyetzamfom created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagyetzamfom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tagyetzamfom, it will turn you into a dog.

Tagyetzamfom's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tagyetzamfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help birds.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.