Betmutzist is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic dingo.

Betmutzist created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betmutzist, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Betmutzist, she will boil you in a big pot.

Betmutzist's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Betmutzist's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Worship no other gods but Betmutzist.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.