Mappibflypodhivcammatmit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, weak finch.

Mappibflypodhivcammatmit created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mappibflypodhivcammatmit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mappibflypodhivcammatmit, she will turn you into a goat.

Mappibflypodhivcammatmit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Mappibflypodhivcammatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always stare at clouds.