Flamlenster is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, caring bear.

Flamlenster created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamlenster, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamlenster, it will torture you forever.

Flamlenster's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flamlenster's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Flamlenster on top of important buildings.

4. Flamlenster loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flamlenster.