Laktabtad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring dove.

Laktabtad created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Laktabtad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Laktabtad, it will be mildly annoyed.

Laktabtad's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Laktabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

3. Always treat bats with great respect.

4. Laktabtad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.