Titnilcen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fussy weasel.

Titnilcen created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titnilcen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Titnilcen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Titnilcen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Titnilcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.