Yobyostshav is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, charitable crocodile.

Yobyostshav created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yobyostshav, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yobyostshav, she will come to you in dreams.

Yobyostshav's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yobyostshav's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Yobyostshav on top of important buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Never go into orange rooms.