Jarndusstig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, capable bird.

Jarndusstig created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jarndusstig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jarndusstig, she will turn you into a worm.

Jarndusstig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jarndusstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat birds with great respect.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never feed aubergines to dolphins while wearing red scarves.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect four silver sculptures of Jarndusstig on top of important buildings.