Bossawjen Bessgofteen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest beaver.

Bossawjen Bessgofteen created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossawjen Bessgofteen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bossawjen Bessgofteen, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bossawjen Bessgofteen's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bossawjen Bessgofteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Always help whales in need.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never bounce in holy places.