Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish aardvark.

Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib.

2. Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Ortyartmisvabjonyartpib loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.